Movies At Dog Farm (Old Build): Pieces

Sunday, February 17, 2013

     I mentioned the brilliantly lurid taglines used to sell Pieces (1981) just last week, but Pieces is far from the only gorey horror movie to tease its explicit content with provocative taglines. Before every other new horror release began to settle for posters of attractive floating heads and the uninspired "Based on a True Story" tagline, filmmakers used every tool at their disposal to sell their movies. If you had an eye-catching poster and memorable tagline you were golden. Sometimes the movies themselves were afterthoughts.

     Following is a selection of thirteen terrifying taglines that do a better job than most of selling their respective movies. Some of the movies are actually good, some aren't, but all made effective use of their taglines to get asses in the seats. Take a shot at guessing the name of the movie that spawned the tagline, then click on the tagline to see if you're right.

                                                             13 Terrifying Taglines

The Film That Could Only Be Made In South America . . . Where Life Is CHEAP!

They Will Make Cemeteries Their Cathedrals And The Cities Will Be Your Tombs.

John Will Never Eat Shish Kebab Again.

The Tenant In Room 7 Is Very Small, Very Twisted, And Very Mad.

The Saw Is Family.

This Woman Has Just Cut, Chopped, And Burned Five Men Beyond Recognition . . . But No Jury In America Would Ever Convict Her!

I Warned You Not To Go Out Tonight.

It Takes All Kinds Of Critters To Make Farmer Vincent's Fritters.

Where Shopping Costs You An Arm And A Leg!

When There's No More Room In Hell The Dead Will Walk The Earth.

Zombies, Guns And Sex, Oh My!

We Are Going To Eat You!

An Entire Town Bathed In Pulsing Human Blood! Madmen Crazed For Carnage! Brutal . . . Evil . . . Ghastly Beyond Belief!

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Posted by Brandon Early

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

"Pieces" (1982) - An Appreciation

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Pieces (1982) is pure freak show exploitation, and it's advertising campaign sells it like a huckstering carnival barker.

"You Don't Have To Go To Texas For A Chainsaw Massacre!" chides the tagline.

The poster even more pointedly assures "It's Exactly What You Think It Is!"

The clear implication is that Pieces offers all of the bad dialog, gratuitous nudity, and gorey violence you're looking for, all in one sleazy package. Unlike most exploitation, though, this package mostly delivers. Even better, it does so with a charming lack of pretense.

Director Juan Piquer Simon knew what he was making here, and he doesn't let decorum get in the way. Legend has it that an actress lost control of her bladder while filming when a functioning chainsaw strayed too near. That shot made it into the film's final cut, a testament to the aesthetic of tacky, unrefined showmanship that makes Pieces great.

Director Simon once stated, "I don't know anyone who says 'I'm going to make a bad movie.' Nor do I know anyone who says 'I'm going to make a work of art' and makes it."

Somehow, Pieces manages to be both bad movie and work of art. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) may be the undisputed masterpiece, but Pieces earns its place in the chainsaw movie pantheon. By being devoid of delusions of grandeur and simply delivering what it promises, Pieces truly is exactly what you think it is.

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